Poems

Puppy Rays


Faraway, So faraway – that
holds not in a “Far-away”;
Jumping & rolling one over the other,
on a humongous ball of habitat-flame,
busting and bubbling of love;
they commence and arise.
Yet, I be spotted on soil.

Rushing through atoms and quantums,
through planets and moons,
upon the waves of gravity;
as puppy rays, they dash at me,
licking and smelling my buff;
with their visible & obscure anatomy.

While they seep into skin,
negotiating with melanin
to be my blood –
I lay loved,
with floods of felicity,
like recumbent recipient
of light years of fondness.
For my body a world of its own,
in addition to a soul,
for millions of lives,
in the grace of light;

O! Dear Light! I pray sun.
He dashed at me, again
as puppy rays,
licking & smelling my buff;
with all colors of love.

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Blog

Perhaps naive.


It has naively occurred to me – an interesting intersection of thoughts; in the evolution of life, of human beings. One of typical science, another literature. This is perhaps uninformed, for I’m an expert in neither of them. 😉

Ok. Getting onto the topic –

Life has evolved from mere chemistry to a cell and to an organism. In each stage from cell, evolution has stepped into another stage with the help of a wiser being of that species. Just for an example, if there a new organism evolves from grass-hopper, it will evolve from the one which is wiser enough to evade it’s predator; as that won’t be eaten away by the predators. And evolution, in my understanding, is the first case of data mining and machine learning. If you take neanderthals, who were a comrade species of homosapiens(human beings), were not as wiser as us; and they faded away with time in lesser time; and the wiser species – which is homosapiens, continue to live. Certain percent of DNAs of Neanderthals are available in Europeans and Asians still; to tell us that neanderthals co-existed with homosapiens. Not just only that, but also, interbred. Reference Link

Now the literature, from Julian Barnes – “A History of the world in 10 1/2 chapters”; that makes me feel where the evolution as is, is up to; as the context of word wiser – varying widely between the animal and human beings.
In the book specified earlier, Titanic was taken for argumentation and following is the text from it – “the hero of the Titanic was a blanket-forger and transvestite imposter;  And on wider scale, theorist maintained that life amounted to the survival of the fittest: doesn’t Titanic prove that ‘fittest were merely the most cunning? The heroes, the solid men of yeoman Virtue, the good breeding stock, even the captain – they all went down nobly with the ship; whereas the cowards, the panickers, the deceivers found reason for the skulking in a lifeboat. Was this not deft proof of how the human gene-pool was constantly deteriorating, how bad drove out good?.”

Perhaps the evolution of humanoids has been the evolution of the cunning; which is one of the contexts for the word ‘wiser’. Perhaps, the Neanderthals were absorbed by the predators: we Homo-sapiens.

With this said, I stop here with a mention from ‘When breath becomes air’, leaving you to dive and swim into this interesting intersection of two stream of different shades.

Though we had free will, we were also biological organisms – the brain was an organ, subject to all laws of physics, too! Literature provided a rich amount of human meaning; the brain, then was the machinery that somehow enabled it. It seemed like magic.
-Paul Kalanithi.

Travel

Few groundnuts and more thoughts tossed.


Men traveling alone without any female companion in Indian train journeys can rejoice to be in best of the luckiest times if he is allowed to take the seat he is allotted to. “Dude.. can you take that seat instead of this, we are a family?”, “Brother, can you leave the window seat for ladies and take that seat? (which could be near to wash room)”. I haven’t said ‘No’ unless the replacement seat is in an unreachable compartment. It was one of those so many Train journeys where I was asked to take a seat other than the one I was allotted, as it happens most of the time. Compartment was full with people and baggage. No more space for my only luggage to be placed in a non-hindering space; except a fitting gap below the opposite seat. So, I thrusted mine into that and squeezed myself between two fluffy men.

Mister in the right tossing groundnut into mouth told me – “Thambi(Younger Brother), you have so much space in the luggage rack at the top, you are placing it here?!”. He wants to slack stretching his limbs.

While I was looking up there to see if there is any space at all, Mr. at my left said – “No, space there, buddy. Leave it as it is.”

One in right started surging up his volume – “Yes, you can. If you think you can, you can. Push those bags and make some space.” But mine was a trolley, it was so big to push bags and make space for it.

Gentleman at left laughed out loud saying, “don’t be joking”.

I was able to hear groundnut getting crushed harder. I was too weak to portray logic for him then. So, I moved mine to the way path.

Then I slipped into – Dostoevsky’s White nights.

Eventually, a transwoman came clapping; asking for money. Prodding each and every one. They weren’t rude as the ones I have experienced.

At once the transwoman left the place, a women opposite murmured, “Why can’t they go and earn, aren’t they ashamed to beg..” to another lady beside her.

Mr. at my left asked, “What was that?”

“I said, why can’t they go work somewhere and earn..” she repeated.

“Say, you have a shop. Would you give them a job?”

She made a grin, “It depends”

“Depends on what, mam?”, he chuckled mockingly, “They are socially disabled. Ofcourse they should live a life as us. But that depends more on us than themselves. It is your choice to help or not to. But, don’t jump to judgements.”, he told her in a tone to defeat her presumed tidiness.

She whipped her sweat beads of embarrassment. Didn’t talk anything after.

Mr. at my right leaned down from slacking and looked at the Mr. at my left. Perhaps, he couldn’t digest the thought that the one in the left spilled.

Perhaps to leave out of inconvenience created, Gentleman at left started talking to me.. initially asking my whereabouts; for which I answered him only half true. Then, he started talking on Russian literature and Dostoevsky, for half an hour and more.

“Try, Ivan Turgenev sometime”, he said as we shook hands to depart.

“Train commutes are a unique ‘being’ ”, once a friend said. How true!

Fiction, Travel

He showed his palm at me.


Looking at my reflection on the rear-view mirror, “Where else do you want to visit, thambi (younger brother)?”, driver anna (Elder Brother) inquired.

I paused for a minute and asked him, “Is there any, you think, I should visit?”.

It was quarter past five already in Vedaranyam. My plan was to stop at Chidambaram next, which takes a 3 1/2 hours of bus travel. Then look for a room there to stay, for Vedaranyam didn’t really have a convenient place to halt for a night. I was getting late.

“There is a small Agaththiyar temple, on our way to the town, if you want to visit..” he said.

“A temple for Agaththiyar? I definitely want to visit.” I couldn’t resist.

“Okay”, he laughed, “lets see if it is open still; nevertheless, will ask people nearby to open it for few minutes”.

I thanked him, he was indeed very kind to me.

Tholkappiyam – written by Tholkaappiyar,  lays the grammar for Tamil. Tholkappiyam is the oldest available scripture of and for Tamil. Tholkappiyam is believed to be derived from Agathiyam – written by Agaththiyar; which was lost and gone forever. Agaththiyar is the father of the language Tamil; Word ‘father’ here is not honorary; but an actual.

Vedaranyam

A simplest of Castles for the father of a Grandest Language. Uneven and unpolished rock floor; peeling off limestone painted walls; a deity as dark as the electric lightless room; dull light from the only oil lantern simmering on a side of the face – of the bearded statue and the priest with just a dhoti that has long lost its life and charm. I felt pressed by unreasonable reasons.

I was watching all around the place until the priest called, “Thambi..”, and nodded at me asking to reverence Agaththiyar while he showed the flame towards the father himself. It was emotional. Reverence was all pure.

I prayed, “Say all you left unsaid to this world, through me” and smiled. He showed his palm at me.

“How do you travel all alone?”, asked driver anna sipping tea, “isn’t that boring?”

“No, it is not. I’m comfortable alone”, I told him and smiled.

“Strange! did anything happen for you, recently?, like.. “, he meant unfortunate life-events and smiled.

“no..”, I laughed out loud.

He shook up left out little tea in the glass to dissolve the sedimented sugar and turned it down into his mouth; until no more drop of tea was left in it.

With empty glasses, we just sat there on the wooden bench for a while: I – looking around, him – reading a newspaper and shaking his head, perhaps, in disappointment, angst, apprehension that the happenings he read could have caused.

“It doesn’t seem like you could earn enough from your taxi..”, I asked about his earnings other than this.

“True, my brother does salt farming”, he said, “we are a join family”.

‘oh..’, I nodded.

“So, how’s life here na.. Happy?” I smiled.

“Happy?!” driver anna laughed throwing his head back, “I don’t really know, thambi”

“Why do you say that?”

“I don’t know..”, cuddling his grey beard he said, “sometime, even if I am happy, I doubt if that is what happiness is or is it like I’m faking myself about it, you know what I mean? For I can live, feel and perceive everything only from one life and body; I don’t have an approval, you see.. for many a things. And your feeling are nobody else’s. Sometimes, even the hard times, when I look back, I feel I enjoyed it; but does that mean happiness? I don’t know” he chuckled, twisting his wrist to show something is unknown, “like colors, ha ha.. you see, the green your eye balls may perceive may not be same as my eye balls do, they say. You can’t have an approval for it with just your eyes and brain. O! it is the same with the sadness, I may doubt sometime if I’m being too touchy. That is why I think, I really don’t know. Perhaps, I have allowed myself to analyze too much of a bare reality. Perhaps, we would be able to feel only ecstasy and despair as right as rain. uh?”

Leaning on the wooden bench, balancing my two arms over it, with my heads facing down, I smiled within, out of unexpected grander in his thoughts.

“what is that.. thambi”, he asked caressing my back.

“Nothing..” I tapped his thigh, “It is getting late for me, anna. I think, I must take a leave”

I settled up the money for his car rental and took a leave from him.

I don’t know if I’m right about it; but there wasn’t any want of an approval more assuring than that day has provided me for the kind of travel I wish to have.

Fiction

Wee Fiction #2


“Why are you so kind to me?!”, I asked him. 

He lifted his face to look at me, then smiled and he said, “I should atleast be generous in being kind, isn’t it? Whatelse we have – that is to give genuinely to justify being a supreme species.”

I nodded my head.

“But.. why me?”

“Favour is not about what, but to whom; I think”.

I pulled his hand into mine and said “Thank you!”, that didn’t spell out.

Fiction

Wee Fiction #1


“I have a short life, I wanna enjoy, live it to the fullest, you see..”, I told him with zealous, “I do not have time for sympathy, empathy and external miseries”. Laughed.

“Alas, an inexplicable humane life seems misplaced on a cheap host.” he mumbled.

“What do you mean?”, I couldn’t avoid turning blue.

“Oh! I meant my dog.” he said.

Fiction

Profound


It was that one hour just after an hour of swim – where you would feel you want to eat twice your stomach’s capability. I knew, that the lunch I would get in A2B wouldn’t even half settle my hunger then. Nevertheless, I stopped my bike there of scarcity in options on a Sunday. If one wanna go for a swim in mid of a day, one has to plan a little, atleast I need very much. Swim for atleast two hours after food isn’t good for stomach. Food immediately after swim is a craving – body will make one feel that very explicitly. 

Anyway, I got a South Indian meal in A2B. Rested myself at the only available table there and started displacing all the cups – having everything from Salt to pickle, from the plate to the table; to make place for various mixes of taste, color and smell I was about to enjoy. I started, as I always say, to feed my hunger; fingers mixing, hands displacing food from plate to mouth, mouth chewing, mind thinking of what to get next after completing the meal.

“Is anybody coming here?” asked a female voice, pointing at the two chairs opposite to me in the table I was sitting. 

She was carrying. 

“No”, I said, “you can sit.” 

There was another one beside her carrying a plate. They both sat opposite to me, with a North Indian meal. 

“Even you have.. hmm… take..”  She told him.

“No. You have, I will have later..” he refused. 

They both looked to me like a couple who don’t quite come to such hotels unless for a special reason. Simple, ordinary, daily waged Indian class. I presumed, he wanted to get his pregnant wife a special food.

Somewhere in middle of their conversations he said “we should have taken that”, showing my plate, “It has more varieties..”. She tapped him a little firm, asking to pull his hand.

I saw them both, they smiled, I smiled back. He was himself – didn’t hide behind etiquette. 

When she was almost to be done, he asked her, “Whatelse do you want to have?”

“No no, nothing more, this is full”

“No, tell me, I have thirty more rupees, we can spend that..”. For thirty rupees one can’t get much there in A2B, that would make you feel as enough food.
“No, have it for your lunch”, She said. 

They seemed generous for each-other, amidst all deficiencies. I started my bike, remembering about the food I wanted to buy after the meal. 

***